People I wish I was more like...

I've come across lots of people I wish I was more like. If I could squish all their good bits together like plasticine and smoosh them into one person I think that person would be pretty amazing. The best bits might not all work as one though.

The first person I remember wanting to be like was my best friend in Primary 1. I'm not sure why we were best friends, I think it was more circumstance than anything. We weren't particularly alike and I knew it. She was cool, sometimes she was even a little bit naughty. I've never been cool, and I climbed in a window in P2 but I wouldn't say I was naughty. Not naturally anyway, and feigned naughty just isn't the same. I didn't have much (of value to a 5 year old) to offer Stephanie. I could spell her name better than she could. That doesn't barter you much in P1. She was funny (for a 5 year old), she called me Woosy-Lucy a few times (in jest) but even my superior reading age couldn't come up with a rhyme for Stephanie. What can you do with "Stephanie"?

Stephanie didn't like Peanut Butter. I loved Peanut Butter.That had to stop...I sold my peanut butter soul for a best friend. Overnight I became a hater. No more peanut butter sandwiches, no more peanut butter on toast, I goaded people for liking it, I wasn't indifferent, I actively disliked it. I'd found something we could have in common and I ran with it...I didn't eat it for nearly 10 years. I relly don't think she noticed. The power of a 5 year old best friend...Then I started eating it out of the jar. In secret (the kind your mum knows all about, one of those secrets). Maybe this is the deep-seated psychological truth behind my secret eating...

I'm glad I've found myself now, so many years later, I haven't seen my 5 year old best friend for a long, long time. She ditched me in about P5 (it had been on the cards for a while. Since P1 in fact...). My new, assertive, peanut-butter smeared self don't change for noone! Well maybe someone with a severe peanut allergy...but noone else.

Anyway, the peanut butter tells a bigger story...which I think must in some way be connected to what I was going to say...

My friends are varied and not especially alike, the bestest of them are ones I want to be more like. Is that a bad thing? Maybe a little bit creepy-weird...? I like to think I just appreciate all their good bits, and the things I like about them are things I'd like to have too (mostly I'm better as a sidekick, but it's good to have aspirations...). I like these kinds of friends - people who make you a better version of you, bring out your best bits. I've tried to have a negatives cull. I don't have the tolerance I used to...so I'm selfishly looking out for myself - life is so much nicer without  life sucking people. I saw a kids book about Bucket Fillers and Bucket Dippers - clear your life of bucket dippers, everything is so much brighter!

The people who can talk to anyone, who introduce themselves with confidence, who are unendingly, genuinely lovely, who always see the good in other people, who are life and soul of the party, the people people want to know, the funny people, the thoughtful people, the kind people, the people who dance and don't care, the people who can swear theatrically the people who can save a bad situation, the ones who always know what to say, who can shatter awkwardness, the people who never assume the worst, the helpers. The people who when you see them brighten your day, or make you reassess how you do things. Make you wish you hadn't commented, not because they make you feel guilty, but because you wish you'd reacted how they did. The man who, when I was in a charity bookshop and an odd man, edging around strangely, dropped his books and ran out of the shop, "Bit strange!" I said making conversation, "Oh aren't we all! Hope everything's ok" said shop man. I'd distanced myself from the man, peering over at him, whispering, he'd stood next to him and offered his kindness. I want to be more like him.

So I'm going to tell these people I want to be more like. They so often can't see it for themselves...go tell someone how they're super today.

(Currently auditioning as motivational speaker...encourager....vomit inducer...)

(Or maybe just trying to make myself look lovely, without having to get up early enough to fancy myself up a bit...)