10 minutes of mindfulness

I think I'll add some mindfulness to my New Year's themes list. I've had a bit of a change in thinking this past few months, I feel like a bit of my half full glass has been tipped out. I've gotten a bit morbid, and turned into a bit of a worrier. And a crier. I cry at adverts sometimes, though not the one with the donkeys...I'm fairly indifferent about donkeys.

Twice this week I've been reminded of worrying, and mindfulness. In an article about Worrying, and in the Tedtalk about making room for 10 minutes of mindfulness. 10 minutes is less than 1% of your day (which seems unlikely...but I'm fairly sure my maffs is right), less than 1%...but just so hard to spare, apparently. So I thought I'd write my list of worries, as a step to distancing myself, and then by mindful about it. Something like that. My research into this has been limited...I might need to learn a bit about mindfulness, but I've gotten some to be going on with. My mind wandered a bit during the tedtalk...which really makes me an ideal candidate for practicing this mindfulness jazz. Mindfulness jazz could be a whole new musical genre...

My worries list, which I've talked about before, was a list of things I wrote, things I was sad about or worried about, a good while ago, back in August, when I was sad every day. Which is not very nice, I only had it for a wee while, don't think I could suffer it every day forever.

Ahem...3 false starts later, the list...

I worry. I cry. But then I act like nothing's happened.

I know it's awful, I know it's selfish, but I don't want to know that your friend has depression. My little brother is dead.

What if someone else dies? What if we fall apart?

What if I'm just like him?

I don't have things to say but I want someone to know when I'm sad. I don't want to make Duncan sad too...

I'm worried people think I'm not sad enough. I don't want to upset them too, there's nothing to be done.

What if it happened to my child too?

I haven't had to tell anyone yet. I'm scared of what might happen when I do.

What are you meant to say to "I'm sorry about your little brother..." I know? Thank you? Me too...?

I wish he could have seen in himself what he was so quick to praise in others.

I don't care about your stupid grumbles. It really could be worse.

I wish he could be here and happy.

I'm not very good at being alone now. I need to fill my head with something or I think too much. Maybe I'm avoiding it.

I'm scared something will happen to Kate when she's away. I don't know what I would do. I panic when mum phones in case something bad has happened.

End of page.

Things have changed a bit since then, it's all dampening down, but it's still very definitely there.

Go get yourself some mindfulness.

http://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddicombe_all_it_takes_is_10_mindful_minutes.html