2 and a half years later she woke up, married, with a baby. That was a surprise.

9 weeks in to motherhood I'm not sure if it still counts as new, but I definitely wouldn't enter myself into any pro-mum/mum of the year competitions just yet. I can do many more things with one hand than ever before, I can use a spoon with my left hand with minimal spillage. I don't care much about said spillage. I have harnessed the power of boobies, a magical,baby calming super power (haven't tested it on any other babies, and have no intention to. I'm a very limited scope superhero.). I can change a nappy, I've negotiated poop explosions without contaminating anything beyond the immediate vicinity of the nappy,not dropping the baby in the process. I'm a semi-accomplished milkmaid. I've learned to appreciate food at any temperature, and no longer eat at the speed of a ravenous savage. I can hold in a pee for way longer than is probably healthy. I've mastered an almost inescapable swaddle. I can (sometimes) make my baby smile, proper big smiles-with-the-eyes,dimples-in-the-chubby-cheeks smiles (it is still quite confidence crushing when she looks unconvinced at my efforts...). There are lots of things I can't do...but we don't want to dwell too much on those...my changing bag packing isn't just brilliant, public singing still petrifies me, even when chiming in with toddlers, I find trying to match outfits unusually stressful, my patience muscle is still strengthening, I can't imagine ever being able to have any kind of routine given I failed at it as an adult. I have a tendency towards being a semi-hermit. I'm sure I can work on those and the many other inevitable failings.

So now we have a two day trend of long lunchtime naps in the sling I thought I could revisit the blog. I have been storing up ideas as we've gone along learning the art of keeping a tiny human alive, most of it is probably fairly obvious to any even semi-accomplished parent...but I had to learn them in real life. Funny how they imagine you'll know how to be a parent because you don't have any particularly significant social problems, up until 9 weeks ago I had no idea. Now I suppose I have mastered some of the practicalities.

And as I master them I feel more and more grateful for being able to stay at home for a good while, I gain more and more respect for those who stay at home longer term (it is really pretty f**king hard being in constant demand), appreciate more and more having an involved el papa for the little person so I can have a little bit of time in less demand, and feel more and more sorry that he misses out on the daytime bits, that he doesn't get the chance to get to know her as well as I do, that he probably thinks I'm better at it than he is when really I'm just getting to practice all day every day. And I have the boobies - the ultimate trump card (I think we need a new word for that, I don't really want to think of my boobies in trump terms...).